Wedding RSVPs & AI
Oct 1, 2025
Tags: ai wedding blog
Wedding RSVP’s
I’m getting married, it’s something I don’t know if I’ve really talked about too much on here, mostly because I’ve tried to not get overly personal, not to say that I haven’t been emotional or talked about things that have occurred to me personally, because I have. I’m also not hiding my identity, though I’m not necessarily broadcasting that to the heavens either. In anycase, I’m getting married! Yay! It’s actually very exciting because I love my fiancée very much, she’s incredible and I’m so happy we’re doing this, I cannot imagine my life without her so why not get your best and deepest and most longest lasting relationships together in one place so you can confess and profess that love to any and all!? Well because people are the worst and they will let you know that at every turn.
I don’t have a big family and I don’t have a lot of friends. I have some friends, absolutely! But I’ve moved a few times in my life, I’ve had a few friends die (which is terrible and leaves a wound that may never heal, I do not recommend this). The pandemic also helped in pushing people all around the globe, and when you leave someone’s proximity, you lose closeness. It’s just the way it works. I’ve also made the decision to cut some friends out of my life, friends who may not have been as reciprocal in friendship as I was (this I do recommend but with a caveat; life can become incredibly lonely the more you push people away, even if they deserve it). Sometimes when talking with people I’m flabbergasted at the amount of people they talk about having in their lives. Every day “my friend this, my friend that” always a new person they’ve never talked about before! I’ve never understood this because for me to really refer to someone as a friend, it’s someone I would text and chat with and someone who would tell me if they were going through a hard time, someone I’ve been through hard times with.
Anyway it’s never fun to hear someone tell you “sorry I have not accounted for you in my life and therefore cannot attend your wedding” but, if you are me, you get to hear this a lot and in varying ways! We’ve just received the last of our RSVPs and I believe - there is no way to prove it because just by asking them if it were true they would deny it, for I would never be able to hide the disdain in my questions - I THINK the “I’m sorry I/We cannot come but …” messages were written with A.I. ARE YOU SO WHOLLY HEARTLESS THAT YOU CANNOT EVEN FEIGN INTEREST IN SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE FOR 3 MINUTES TO WRITE A MESSAGE? COULD YOU BE SO DEVOID OF A SOUL THAT YOU WOULD ASK A MACHINE TO GIVE UP WELL WISHES? DID YOU EVEN READ THIS BECAUSE YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE CERTIFIABLY MAD. You miserable squires for the techno aristocracy, you are standing upon the picked-clean souls of those who have sacrificed their words and tears and hearts and blood so you can pretend to be sorry about something. You have truly lost your way in life and my god I fear I would see no punishment fit to grace your sentences!
I was so mad at the last one I received I pulled out a fucking typewriter and wrote an insane note which made me look like a lunatic! But how else is one expected to combat incompetence at such a level? By regressing and using the angriest writing method known to man. I will say, I was about 50% less angry than I was when I started, the clattering of the strikers, the travel of the keys, the way you must prop yourself like a child in preparatory school awaiting the rap of a ruler on the knuckles. Not completely satiated, rage still high, I decided to swing the pendulum in the opposite direction and write a blog-post - my first in a few months! So thank you, you two, you miserable fucking assholes, for it has resurrected me back from the dark age and into the only party I need, cyberbuffalo dot mother fucking party.
